Keep an eye out for the three fundamental lessons from this article on changing any habits, whether it’s to quit smoking or not…
- We need to first look at ourselves and change our perceptions of the way we see and feel about ourselves. A lack of self belief must be dealt with before we make changes to our habits.
- We need to have compelling reasons to make changes in our lives so that we can stay on track, otherwise we will fall backwards.
- Healthy and consistent change is not an independent journey. To make meaningful breakthroughs we need a community and people around us who want the best for us…
What is the single most fundamental influencing factor of our health & fitness?
Recent studies have shown an increase in the number of people smoking over COVID-19 and lockdown. Why is this? As part of our exploration of how the principle of Personal Vision (our outlook and beliefs) is the single most fundamental influencing factor on our health and fitness we have a great story to share today.
For most of us, when we approach changes in our lives we tend to focus on changing habits and techniques. We don’t often think about changing our beliefs and the way we perceive ourselves. Today I have a story that powerfully demonstrates this from Asif Valiji, someone who’s been part of the community for many years. He shares how, with the right support and people around him, he was able to change a deeply entrenched habit by changing his beliefs about himself and his future.
Kicking the Old Me and Then Kicking the Habit
“Over the many years of being involved with Lighthouse International I’ve seen massive change in myself and others. Some of these changes have been subtle and beneath the surface while others have been far more evident.
One of these changes is that I quit smoking, for good.
At the time, I was working in a stressful job (which I managed poorly) in a position that I just didn’t appreciate.
Smoking was an escape for me. It was a chance to get away from the stresses, strains and overwhelm of my life. I smoked because it was the one sure thing I felt I needed to maintain my sanity – and I completely bought into this.
Not Just a Habit
You see, it wasn’t just the habit and the addiction to smoking that was limiting me but also the beliefs and perception of myself I had back then. As strange as it sounds, coming from a family where many of us smoked, it was a big part of being accepted. That’s how it was for mum when she started. It was personal time and therefore deeply entrenched into me as a habit.
At the same time I wanted to change who I was for the better. To let go of my old negative belief system and habits. I wanted to meet these changes with courage and appreciation. I didn’t want to use the excuse of a cigarette to run away from the hard times and avoid what was tough to face. I didn’t want to dash out for a quick fag because I couldn’t manage the stress of work and life anymore.
Changing My Personal Vision of Myself
Years ago I was having lunch with a friend who I met through Lighthouse International and we spent the time talking about our families, our responsibility to others and how we could help each other more through our friendship. As we finished lunch and went out onto the street I went to put a cigarette in my mouth and lit it. She saw me do this and asked, with genuine concern, “Asif, after everything that we just talked about – how can you put that into your mouth?”
That question just threw me and helped me see how absolutely essential it was to get real and challenge my habits and beliefs. That was the last cigarette I smoked as a smoker. I accepted that I wanted to let go of that part of my life, that I was no longer a smoker who was trying to quit, but rather a healthy father letting go of an old habit he no longer needed.
I worked hard at changing my beliefs and what I was doing each day in line with my outlook on life. That included my perception of myself, the way that I managed stress, the people that I surrounded myself with, the way I managed my work situation and many more things.
Years on and I have never looked back on my choice to stop. That’s not to say I don’t have my days when I want to slip back…I even enjoy a cigar on special occasions, but it’s a wonderful deposit in my own sense of self-value and confidence to be free of that addiction.
The biggest lesson for me through all of this is how I achieved dramatic changes in my life, not through forcing myself to quit or wearing a million nicotine patches. It was through changing my underlying core beliefs about myself and giving myself compelling reasons to stop smoking. It was a shift in my self-perception to one of a responsible caring father and human being that truly led me to realise I could not carry on smoking. That for me is why Personal Vision as a principle is so fundamental and what it is all about.
It’s been a pleasure sharing this with you and if you have any questions please feel free to drop me a line here, I’d love to hear from you.”
Asif
Thank you, this is very inspiring. Developing our bodily intelligence is one of the most difficult areas to overcome, and the most rewarding when we become the master of ourselves and gain control of our particular addiction. I have not smoked, however, I can relate to having a sugar addiction, and getting the support and help required to follow through on my intentions to become increasingly healthy. What I found so very beneficial is that mastering this area of my life, led to an increased self-discipline in other areas of my life and my ability to keep commitments.
I really appreciate you sharing your experience with mentoring and giving up smoking. I had a very similar experience where for years I had used smoking as a crutch, as a tool to deal with stress as well as relying on them in social interactions. When I look back now I was like a baby with a deadly pacifier. I had tried to give up many times before but had never really looked at the real reasons why I smoked, I never took responsibility for my actions. I told myself the usual stories that it was clever marketing, the cigarette companies, bad habits that I had picked up from others, always ignoring the fact that with each cigarette I was making a choice. There was a stimulus from the nicotine addiction and a response lighting a cigarette. My mentor helped me to see that in between there was the freedom to choose. I remember feeling for the first time how with each cigarette I was giving up my freedom.
I really resonated with what you also said about not valuing yourself. That was another key point for me, I was helped to see that through each cigarette I was hurting my body. I remember thinking would I want my daughter to smoke and why not? The answer because I placed a lot of value on her life. I remember thinking about the hypocrisy in valuing somebody else’s life and not valuing my own. Through starting to understand these fundamentals, self-worth and value, addiction, commitments and self-discipline, I too was able to quit the nasty habit. This time with support, it was a completely different experience, not about forcefully breaking a habit … but instead, understanding my value and understanding the habit and growing up and into healthier habits through this.
Thank you for sharing this story with us, it is moving to hear that one challenge from someone helped you change this habit. Smoking is something that I have and still feel a craving for from time to time, like you said, especially when it is difficult. I personally used smoking as a method of maintaining control in my life with the amount of chaos in other areas that were out of my personal control.
Having that escape from reality, through a method of self-gratification seemed like such a great short term fix. I loved reading this experience and the changes that you have made through the help of a friend, helping to see and change your self-perception. I really also valued the clarity that it is not about smoking, but really getting to the root of the problem. Wonderful thank you so much, lots to learn and apply in my own life in many areas