My Mentoring Experience
By Richard S.
Laidback, caring, and forgiving. These were the three ingredients that led me to the darkness of an abusive relationship which ever so slowly pinioned me into an increasingly dangerous and untenable life, complete with child, without me acknowledging it until it was too late. So I thought.
There are times in life when it helps to deep dive into your past to help you understand your past, deal with underlying trauma and help navigate life better in the future. This was not one of those times. There’s a reason why professional sports players have coaches: to help encourage and push boundaries in order to achieve better things in remarkably short periods of time. This is what Chris did for me.
As life tumbled from what on the outside seemed like ‘textbook success’, to a mess of hurt, vulnerability and even poverty, Chris stood by my side and helped me on the journey to acceptance of my predicament and a plan of action to get me out of it. At times like this you need a confidant, a friend who’s not afraid to challenge you and who’s always got your best interests at heart.
Through regular conversations, a lot of reassurance and goal setting, I went from regularly having to placate a violent, manipulative partner in a far off land to executing a well-planned escape for myself and my child to start afresh back where I started. Coaching and mentoring – if done well – is like having all of your closest friends and family members rolled into one, but with the added extra of transparency (they’ll say what they see) and continual motivation (they’ll keep on at you).
Your wellbeing and growth is central to their relationship with you but most importantly, they help you discover, or re-discover yourself, your values, your inner strength and gently nudge you in the direction where you affect meaningful change yourself. Thanks to Chris’ tireless efforts as a coach and mentor myself and my child are where we should be: happy, content and growing.
I’ll be forever grateful to Chris.
Richard
Thank you so much for sharing this journey with your daughter Richard, oh it is so touching! When a child is involved it must be so very difficult to think logically and calmly as it is so imperative to make the right decision in a potential very volatile situation. This example of mentorship when you needed it the most, and dig deep into the ultimate responsibility you needed to take for your daughter is very inspiring, and sets you up for life for when you need to stretch yourself once again for something greater than you think you are capable of.
Wow Richard! Thank you so much for sharing your journey and experiences so openly. I can feel your courage coming through what you have written, and I can only imagine the positive impact you have had on your child through the example you are setting and the growing conviction they feel in you! To address the pain you felt inside, when on paper your life would be considered a ‘textbook success’ takes a great deal of humility, and It really is wonderful to see the impact of the work you have been doing in and on yourself, with Chris’ support.
Richard you said it so well… what is family and what makes family so important is not genetics; but connection and a willingness to go out of our way for each other. Your experience and appreciation for Chris is powerful and real. Thank you. I can relate to a very many things you shared and as a dad, you might forget what people do for you but you never forget what they do for your children. Thanks.
Thank you so much for sharing Richard.
Your personal journey has been a challenging one and I appreciate you opening up about how mentoring has helped you.
What you said about coaching is ‘to help encourage and push boundaries in order to achieve better results’ and I agree wholeheartedly! What I found with my mentor, is that when I needed the push, it was ready, when I needed the support through something difficult, it was there and when I needed the harder talk, when I wasn’t doing the work myself or when I wasn’t living up to my potential or responsibility, he was willing to confront me on my bad decisions and behaviour. It has been such a game changer for me to have someone like that in my corner, helping me achieve more than I ever thought was possible.
I wish you the best in what more you are working through with Chris.
Oh my goodness, this was so touching, well done as a father, to do everything you could to make sure you and your daughter and well and safe. What an inspiring story, thank you